2021 - Life Update!

Greetings! One and all!

It's been a lengthy time since I have last updated the blog but such as life during the pandemic, things have gotten in the way. None the less, I am here now and thought, even if no-one reads, to write an structured update of what's been happening with myself and what is going to happen for the future.

New Year Update:

Here in the UK, we've had a shaky start to 2021 - we're an embarrassing country still in a lockdown however such as the English values remain; we will keep a stiff upper-lip, keep calm and carry on. Now as we roll into early March, we are starting to see improvements! Vaccines are taking place, work is increasing and a structure is slowly starting to form meaning that I can also start to structure myself too. I am of course a creature of habit and need routine but I do experience random spurts of spontaneity and thrill to turn everything upside down. This small section of the year has by far been the most spontaneous moments of all!

I had set some goals last year and I still intend to keep them:

- find a creative job before my 25th birthday (I still have 5 months!)

- work less for the sake of my physical and mental state

- spend more time studying

So far, I'm making an active drive towards these goals, one unfortunately by force: my health.

Health Update

Back in the beginning of April 2020, I carried on pushing harder on my doctors to find out why I was getting aching, and at times shooting pain, down my legs for the last 3 years and stabbing pain in my coccyx. Blood tests were done and found extremely high levels for the symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis was present. Having also learnt it was in my family history, I have been carrying out more test to get a full diagnosis of what I'm up against. It's March 2021; many blood tests, x-ray's and a terrifying MRI scan later, I'm still left with no clear answers. All the while, my body has quite literally eating away at me. I've always been a very capable person, very independent and used to be rather active. Now walking up the stairs, driving, sitting at a desk for over 12 hours a day has began to start paralysing me day by day. Other are fortunate and could experience very small symptoms of it where as with myself, luck always turns the other cheek.

I've already being dealing with other illnesses my whole life and to have another problem added on top has been, for lack of a better word, terrifying. Nothing prepares you for when your mothership starts to lose power in the engine and no-one has provided an instruction manual. I'm proud to say that I've been coping well with it but you finally come to breaking point, which leads me onto my next update:

Life update:

To gain some power and control, I've found comfort in art and that thankfully stretches to many forms. Social media, videography and also illustration. These have been my main focus whilst learning to manage everything else. So in order to focus on the things that reduces my stress (which is a HUGE factor in my physically pain) I'm reducing myself down and will be leaving my full time job to find a part time job. Something that can help pay the bills, have minimal pressure and something that allows me time to focus on my achieving my goal of working in a creative position. I've also opened my own Etsy shop and each day work hard to create products I would use regularly whilst sticking to my aesthetics. Another form of money but something that makes me happy.

Having more time for myself also means I have the chance to do what I've always wanted too; Study. My life goal is to visit Korea and speak/make friends of different cultures and societies. I've been studying Korean for a short time and trying to grab energy out of thin air after working an stress 8 hour shift is hard but not impossible. For the last 3 months, I've been lacking in sleep due to trying to fit everything I need to do in one day. It's not possible and as a result, I'm getting more and more sick.

It's time to take grasp of my life!

Not many people take the time to sit and evaluate their lives and having had too many mental breakdowns over it shouldn't be the driving force! It's about sitting down and asking yourself these questions;

- Am I happy where I am right now?

- Is there something that could make an improvement on my life or easier

- Where do I see myself this time next year? Is it the same or something else.

Never settle for less or in some case, don't settle at all. Life is something to continuously challenge and as each day gets harder, I'm constantly reminding myself and trying to shun the negativity away.

So my closing question for you is: Are you happy? If so, why? If not, what are you going to do about it!?

If you did take the time to read this, thank you for sticking through it and I appreciate your time ❤️

Until next time

Natasha x

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